When you feel good about yourself, you feel confident… and when you feel confident, you have strong self esteem. Self esteem is only what YOU think of yourself. As in your own thoughts. So if you don’t like how you look or feel good about who you are, the image you paint for yourself in your own mind is negative.
Well guess what? What you say to yourself is more damaging than you think.
Saying, or even thinking things like: I’m not good enough, I’m not pretty enough, I don’t make enough money, I’m too fat, I am not worthy or deserving – and most harmful of all – I am unloveable, is unhealthy for your mind, body and soul. Over time, you can develop an extremely low self esteem that will likely drive low self confidence, poor decision making and the ability to build healthy relationships.
If you have low self esteem, you don’t feel like you have the abilities to cope or deal with the realities of life. You don’t think you can do it. You’ve already decided, so you fail. It’s inevitable.
Your low self esteem will sabotage great things… promotions, relationships, events. You might be controlling, insecure or demanding to continuously have reassurance. You might lie or exaggerate because you THINK it sounds better. Your low self esteem will convince you you don’t deserve it.
But you do! You are enough. You are worthy. You are loveable. You just have to decide to believe it.
I personally went through a period of time when I battled low self esteem. I lost all sense of confidence in myself and the image I painted in my mind of myself after losing my eyesight was not a nice one. It took a long time for me to love “the new me” and accept things and my life as it was. I thought things like: I can’t walk properly, my make-up isn’t as good as it was, my clothes are probably mismatched, I can’t eat without using my fingers, I look stupid with a cane. No one will ever love me like this.
But once I changed that outlook and how I thought about myself and my blindness, it changed everything. I began to like, then eventually love myself again. I no longer felt the need to prove to others I could do things, I wanted to do them for me. I stopped feeling sorry for myself and started thinking and doing things to feel good about myself. The more I did, the better I got and the greater I felt about myself.
When you have high self esteem, your confidence level rises and life is just… easier. Joy fuels your engine, not fear. Your self esteem wants you to win, not lose, so here are six ways to help boost your self esteem so you can start living a more fulfilling life today.
1. Say “Shut-up” to your inner critic
It’s time to stop being so judgemental of not just yourself, but of others. Come one, we all do it! When you look in the mirror and something in you says you don’t look good, silence the Be-atch and own it! What does Meghan Trainor say? “Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top!”
2. Challenge your negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones
You could say “shut up” here too, but a simple push of the DELETE button a few times works great! I used to beat myself up so bad after I would bump in to a mannequin in a store and then stand there for five minutes apologizing profusely. And then I thought,“Ummm Tamara, you’re saying sorry to a mannequin!” I would be so embarrassed and would say “I’m so stupid!” over and over again.
Now, if that happens, I just feel it up for the latest trends and say “thank you.” They don’t seem to mind… mannequin or otherwise 😉
3. Jump off your pity train
There’s nothing more beautiful than someone who comes out the other side of something tragic and terrible with a lesson in life in hand. Find that lesson and learn from it.
What would you rather? Someone hanging around out of obligation because they feel sorry for you, or a true friend cheering you on in life out of love and support? It’s always your choice.
So when you fall down, get back up again. Dust yourself off and keep going. Your life is waiting and you are worth it!
4. Accept you are not perfect
Imperfect IS the new perfect!
The more different you are, the more perfect you shall be. Own your uniqueness. Live and love with purpose and don’t allow anyone or anything to change the love you have for yourself.
5. Stop comparing yourself to others
If there’s one thing I need you to “get” today, it’s that you are absolutely enough! You don’t need to be like anyone else. Have things others have. Be what others are. Do what they are doing. You are absolutely amazing… JUST AS YOU ARE!
6. Surround yourself with positive influences
It’s often said that you are the average of the five people you spend your time with. So, if you are surrounding yourself with people who don’t add value to your life, or are negative and toxic, then you need to change who you’re sharing your time with. Who’s in your closest circle of friends? Positive people are positively influential and build you up, not tear you down emotionally, mentally and physically.
Once you begin to feed your mind, body and soul with positive, self loving thoughts and actions, your self esteem will get better and better. You will feel worthy and competent. You will quickly feel happiness and have more self respect.
Want to know the even better news? All of this will allow you to tap in to the happiness of others. And we all know that when we love someone, we want them to be happy. And when THEY are happy, We are happy. Right? 🙂
I would like to share one more thing that has helped me on my journey and it’s a technique speaker/author Byron Katie recommends, as well as many, many other self help professionals. It’s mirror work and it’s super easy.
All you do is stand in front of a mirror (many say to do this naked as a jaybird, but that’s up to you) and just say out loud: “_______, I love you.”
I do it all the time. I know, I know! I can’t see myself in the mirror, but I know I’m there. It’s the power in the words you say. I will often say something like: “I love and accept myself just as I am. Tamara, you are beautiful, loving and confident.”
You get it, I know you do. I hope it helps and I know if you try it, you will smile and love yourself just a little more each time.
[Click to Tweet!]